Lose Some Weight and Gain God

It’s easy to talk about change; harder to actually do so.

In high school, I weighed about 130 pounds which isn’t so bad; I was thin.

About two years into college I started to gain weight and sadly, I now weigh 160 with a muffin top. I know that appearances aren’t everything but come on, I want to look good and feel good too.

I talk about losing weight, I research until the battery dies in my phone, and then I research more.

I still weigh 160 pounds and have a muffin top.

I know how to lose weight and I talk about losing weigh but I haven’t done anything to actually lose any poundage.

The same goes for getting closer to God or to have that relationship with Him that looks like the pastors’. If you don’t walk (or read) daily or don’t pray and meditate on the word, you won’t lose weight or gain a better relationship with Him.

Lately, there has been conflict with my sisters and I.

People take advantage of us because we love children; so they throw their children in our house and leave without a “thank you” or anything like that; the child that was going to sleepover one night is still in the house one week later.

Don’t get me wrong. I love the child and the family he/she belongs to, I love to help and love to be a part of that child’s life but remember, we also have the church in our house as well. We have responsibilities and things we have lacked before, so another thing on our plates can cause stress.

When voting whether we take a child in for a few days, I am hesitant to throw my “yes” out when I see a bunch of “no’s” already in the pile.

This time, I said it firmly that we must say “yes”.

Conflict.

The phrase “people take advantage of us because we love the kids” gets laid on the table and I am stuck for a moment.

I have seen this before; people take advantage of my father, the pastor because he is a man who usually says “yes”- spends hundreds of dollars (that we don’t have) to help and then the person disappears from the radar without saying thank you.

I honestly get angry just thinking about it (Sorry, Lord).

How do you respond to something like that? How am I to talk to them about my love for helping children? How can I say “yes” when we were just trying to explain the same thing to my father the night or two before?

The answer (what we did): complain to make the other mad

What? Really? Complain?

Yes, that is how my sisters and I solve things. We complain and complain and complain. We complain when the person we are arguing with is in front of us, we complain under our breaths, we complain when the person is still within earshot but not in the room.

That is how we usually do things

This time, however, while I was still in earshot and the complaining and insulting was happening in the next room, I remained silent.

For those who do not know me, that is not an easy thing for me to do. I have to have the last word or, at least, the loudest word. But I couldn’t say anything.

I believe it was the Holy Spirit and His use of my father’s face that said “it’s okay not to respond and frankly, it would be for the best”.

Sometimes, I just can’t imagine why someone would not respond but I figured that it won’t change anything if I responded, especially when I was upset. It was time for me to be quiet and just let it go.

In order for me to lose weight and to have enough of a relationship with God to be able to determine when is the right time to say “yes” and the right time to say nothing, is by working for it (in terms of prayer, to just be in the presence of God).

God will meet you half way; His half is done and ready, it’s just up to us to get the rest of the way there. There is already a 130-lbs woman in me, I just need to put the chocolate down and get those running shoes on. There is already a great missionary, or pastor, or children’s ministry leader in all of you, you just need to open that Bible, close those eyes to pray, or do some journaling.

How easy it is to just do it. But remember to do so quietly, do it humbly. Just like when you want to lose weight- you don’t tell everyone because the moment you want to reward yourself or are willing to work out more just to try that cookie- everyone verbally has an opinion or scoffs at you.

Nike says that right? I’m not sure but I know that God says that.

In Matthew 6:4-6:

4 Just do it - quietly and unobtrusively. That is the way your God, who conceived you in love, working behind the scenes, helps you out. 

5 "And when you come before God, don't turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? 

6 "Here's what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won't be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

It’s pretty clear on how and what we need to do. I personally took time to just be quiet; a few hours ago while lying on the ground with no light, after raking the leaves. Not planned and it truly was lovely. 

Now, I just need to pray and read more to figure out how to address those who take advantage of me and my family. I need to relax and remember that God has all situations in His hands it will work out tremendously beautiful in the end.

The Way I Are

I love to DO!
I mean, I love to do things; all kinds of things:
Baking
Cooking
Reading
Dancing
Eating
Writing
and so on....!

There are so many things that I love to do that I don't get to finish any.

Not the best life, I suppose.

I started to love decorating cakes.
Bought all the stuff for it and watched all these shows and YouTube videos on tips and whatever.
Lasted about two weeks.

Then I fell in love with writing.
I have three books in the making!

Then I fell in love with playing piano (still love it!)
I know all the keys' locations and how to play chords.
Then I stopped playing it.

Safe to say, that I love falling in love with all kinds of hobbies and have many different passions.
The one things that I do not like (or love)
Is never finishing.

You see, I WANT to finish something, to say that I am (almost) a pro at something.
But I just move on to something different.

This can be scary for someone who comes up with ridiculous scenarios in their head:
*On a date (for example)*
He- "So what is something you like to do or are good at?"
Me- *Heavily breathing as my eyes widen in panic* "I am pro at knowing random facts that I don't know are true"

Yeah, I thought that out completely.
There is no second date there >.<

Of course, this is not somethign that will happen, I just come up with these randomly about once or twice a month.

So I like to do many things. BIG DEAL!
After suffering with "worst-case" here I am
The way I are:
Completely Happy to say that I have done or tried many things.
Not exciting things.... but MY things.

My newest craze: Cookie decorating.

:D

I just...love this.

There are going to be things that I never give up.
I still love to read books.
I still love to take pictures just for the fun of it.
I still make Pinterest boards for things I may never do but love to dream about.

There is nothing wrong with dreaming.

If I didn't dream, I would be in a really bad place right now.

God is SO GOOD!
He made me!
Every fine detail about me- physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually..etc.

I no longer have to worry about what I want to do.
I have the option to start one thing and start another.
He GAVE ME that option.

I can just be.
I don't need to be freaking out about what to do or worry about anything related to that.
He has a plan. I will be where I need to be.
It makes me think of Esther.

But that is for another time.

Pray. Love. Be.
We were created to worship and honor Him
We can focus on the petty or unnecessary details but that will just take us away from His purpose.

I will do that.
That is my homework for myself.
Pray. Love. Be.

Anything that doesn't make me happy can wait in the background.
No need to worry.
Life will be rocky and it will hurt sometimes but with the Creator on my side, there is no need to stress.

Just Pray. Love. Be- With Faith.
He's Got the Wheel. <3

I had a dream....

A few weeks (a month) ago, I had this dream:

I was walking around a building that looked like a medical school. I was sent off to do a task and I noticed something odd with a "patient". So I hurried off to find someone to confide in. I quickly located my dad and proceeded to tell him about the emergency that was either happening or going to happen. But instead, he brushed me off and continued to work on whatever it was that he was doing. I felt so much anger, that I felt like I was going to scream. So I stormed off, hurt and angry.

My older sister came to me and suggested we go for a drive so I could cool down and not do anything hasty. So off we went. As we approached a red light, I noticed three men walking around a church parking lot. They wore baggy clothes and I could hear their vulgar speech from inside the car. They began to pick up rocks and started throwing them at the cars in the parking lot. My sister said something to me but they fell on deaf ears. I quickly opened the door and got out of the car. I began telling them (not yelling) that they shouldn't be doing that. I told them that they were disrespecting the people who owned those cars. That they are better than what they are doing. That God has such great plans for them. Two of them stopped, dropped the rocks, and had these sincerely apologetic faces, almost tears in their eyes. I remember feeling such peace as I looked at them. The other, who seemed to be a leader to them, began to shout at me. Asking me "Who do you think you are? Telling us what to do and not do? Do you think you are better than me?" The closer and closer he got to me, the angrier he became. I told him not to get any closer and to not lay a hand on me. He grabbed my shoulder and began to yell again but out of reflex I quickly punched him in the face, breaking his nose. He fell to the ground and I thought to myself "why is he so angry?"

The scene changed. I found myself in a large school gymnasium, all the lights were off except for one large spotlight pointed directly at the center where I stood. All around me stood people of all ethnicitys. I looked around at them as they stood in a circle at the very edge of the light, not daring to enter the center. I kneelt down and began to pray. Quietly at first, my voice just a breath. The viewpoint changed and I was able to watch as my body was praying. When I looked straight ahead again, there was a judge on his chair with a gavel in his hand. He began to talk about how I had assaulted the boy who had grabbed me harshly. They spoke of prison and so on. His voice began to be drowned out by the sound of my barley sound producing voice, deep in prayer. I was to wait in prison until a court date. The judge disappeared and all the people who stood around me were staring at me. My body (I) just kept praying, paying them no mind. They pointed, some laughed, some scoffed, and some asked if I was ok. There was one girl, about twenty, who just watched me, intently. The view began to spin rapidly as if time were going by but my mind knew that it had only been a few minutes.

The scene stayed the same but the time had lapsed to at least two weeks or so. I kept on praying, never breaking for a moment. The judge reappeared stating that I was free to go and the man who accused me was being charged for many things. All the people who stood around me were cheering and shouting, congratulating me but they never entered the center of the circle. The girl who was just watching me began shouting "Praise God, I will follow you!", giving her life to Jesus. Then another person gave their life to God , then another and soon there were about 30 people who were saved. Not everyone shouted for joy or gave their life to God but I continued praying. Soon, one by one they began to disappear, until it was just the one girl who seemed so intrigued by my prayer. She wanted me to celebrate my freedom and was so amazed that before trouble began (during the good) I was praying and during the bad, I was praying, and now again I was praying during the gladness of my freedom. She smiled at my praying form and disappeared. I was alone in the gym, praying and praying and praying. Then I woke up.

EXCITEMENT! That is what I felt when I woke up. I couldn't contain my happiness. I just wanted to spread happiness to those around me. I smiled at everyone (a lot bigger than I usually did) and I spoke to more people than I usually did. It was, it IS a beautiful feeling. Like I had finished a terrible task and received the greatest prize for my work.

Interpreting dreams has always fascinated me and while I do not know what the entire dream meant or what parts mean what, I do know that it showed my role.

We are all given something. We are given a role and a purpose. I may not know my purpose in life (praying will help and will give me answers) but I know my role.
It is not my place to say. I have declared it with my mouth and so it is. I can share it here with you all and the more I think of it the more I want to and believe I should. The description of the role, however, is harder to put into words.
The words I hear are: Anchor  and Strength.

Strength, is what I got from the dream, itself. Anchor, I received from other sources-other people. I know that a big lesson is to PRAY, PRAY, PRAY during the good and the bad, the laughs and the tears. I am strong even with the emotions. I am an anchor for those who tie themselves to me. I know how great my God is and I will never say otherwise. I will not believe otherwise.

I don't believe because I see...I see because I believe.

Prayer at 10. (Part 2 of 1?)

There was an incident that happened to one of our church members. I didn't need or want details but my parents were insistent on praying at 10pm.
To some, it was too late.
To others, they had children to attend to.

To me, it was a simple enough request. I mean, we are doing it for a family member (Our church is a big family).
But I didn't do it the first night.
The second night, I prayed around midnight (Me- a night owl...hoo, hoo)
The third night, I prayed at 11pm and it lasted about 5-10 minutes because I didn't know what to say.

The fourth night, however, was different than the rest.

I was never big on prayer.
Rarely did it except for before a meal and it wasn't all that extensive (Thank you, Jesus for this food. Amen. type of thing).
But this night.
Was the most beautiful night.

You see, I was able to pray but not just a "Thank you God for......" but a meaningful conversation with God. We talk for over 25 minutes. The longest I have ever prayed in my life. We talked about everything.
We spoke of my dreams, my passions, the family that I love the most (besides God). We talked about people from the past and people of the future (Always a good idea to pray for the future spouse and children). We just talked. and talked. and talked.

Honestly...
I don't remember everything we talked about. And that is what means the most to me.
He hears me and I speak from the heart. I may not remember it all but boy do I know that He does.

How did I do it?
I just spoke. Word after word flowed from my mouth and not a t first. At first, it was just plain awkward. Then  I remembered that I wasn't doing this for anyone but for Him. And once I understood that, it was just clean and easy.

I will post the next part that chronologically happened at least a month ago....I had a dream....

God Bless!

The Truth Will Set You Free

I will admit to hard times with my studies this semester. And if you all knew me, you would know that admitting this is one of the hardest things for me to do.

The only thing harder than that was telling my parents.

I have always held my education on the highest of highest pedestals in my life.
I did excellent in elementary, middle school, and high school. Especially high school- I was all about my grades. (B's would make me cry!)

So when the college education started i was nervous but did good. I received my Associates from Northland Community and Technical College. Following that, I began at UND.

I began the semester with high spirits to only be brought down. And when my mood and motivation went down, I began to keep it a secret from my family.
They would ask me how school was going and I would respond with one of three answers:
-It was great, did a lot today.
-It was fine, the professor (continues with story)
-Eh. it was okay, I guess I am just tired.

The more days would pass, the less and less confidence I would have in myself and in my future.
I kept thinking of scenarios of my failure and what I was going to do with my life.

That was until I spoke to my parents.

It wasn't intentional. I wasn't ever going to tell them. Until the day of an exam. I was so tired and beaten that I could no longer control what I was doing. I was literally leaning against the wall and could not move, almost shaking from this heaviness.
The tears welled up in my eyes and i just blurted out my "dark" secret.
And I cried. (I'm a crier so nothing new but this one felt different)

I was so scared of their disappointment. I was scared of saying it out loud because then it would be real to me.

And you know what they said then?

Words of encouragement, of love, of trust, of reassurance.
They said they would never be disappointed in me.
They said that if something goes wrong, then there will be other chances, other opportunities and I can just continue to go to school, i could even change my major again (something funny and heartwarming to say after doing so 3 times).

And we prayed together. It was then that I felt the "freeing" feeling.
My heart, at first, felt like it was splitting in two. Then it started to hurt even more. And finally, there was peace.
Peace all around me.
Filling me from my feet to the top of my head.
It was a fuzzy feeling.
I had never felt so alive.

A few days after praying with my dad, I had an exam.
I was nervous, of course, (tests make me nervous) and I went ahead, studied and started.
After the test, I went home and took a nap.
Surprisingly, I woke up refreshed.

Boring right? A nap? but let me tell you, I never  take naps and when I did the last time (months ago, maybe?) I just feel sick.
and Yesterday? I received my grade and couldn't be happier!!!

And for the second time (first after the prayer), I could not have felt more excited for the school work! My workload seems light to me now and I feel like I have all the time in the world.

This made me realize something that I was always told and what I always tell others:
When you have a problem, Talk to God first!!! His words will set you free!!!!!!!

I don't know how many times I was told these things and I just did't listen, Until now.

So my advice to you all:
Talk to God. Listen to God. Continue to be in a relationship with God. And you will feel incredibly joyful and free! Don't be afraid to tell the truth.
You will sing loud in the car even when the windows are open and people give you strange looks.
Feel happy and live happily with God by your side!

Simple?
It is.

God Bless!!!!

Feeling Good!

We are all dying!
Slowly, as we go through life. And sometimes I think it is scary but not because I am afraid of death (so not!)
It's because we always take things for granted. I am guilty of that just as much as anyone.

Lately, I have been very concerned with health: what I'm eating, what I am doing activity-wise, and most importanly, informing my family on the dangers of the items we thought were healthy.
This brings things into perspective....

Like with our Christian walk.

What are you putting into your body? Your spirit? Your mind? What about your family?

Think about all the things you interact with throughout the day. Is there something you want to hide from someone? That's one negative point.
What about the music you listen to? Is it about the Love of God or about cheating boyfriends/girlfriends? That two!
How about what you watch on t.v or talk about with your friends? That three! And we're out!

A lot of people don't see these things as problems but what goes into the brain and spirit will come out from the mouth and travel to the heart.

We know about the Grinch and his tiny heart, we know about Pharoah who had a hardened heart and yet we continue to hold onto those petty fights with our spouses! We know who is really behind all of that...Satan. He is the "divide and conquer" type. His tricks are all the same and yet many people still fall for it.

So what can we do?

We can pray, read the Bible, we put on The armor of God!!!!!

What does this have to do with health?
Everything!
We are so preoccupied with the bikini ready bodies for the summer that we forget to exercise our spiritual walk so we are ready for ETERNITY!

I am guilty of this too so I can understand why we put these things off to the end but we shouldn't and I won't! While I may be busy with school and Sunday school prep, I make sure to take a few minutes of every day to pray and read a few scriptures to reflect.

Seems too simple? That's because as humans we over complicate everything!
So
My advice to all of you, mothers and daughters, father's and sons, is to just take 3 minutes to thank God for all He has and will do, read a scripture and reflect. You can ask for things, of course but remember to just thank every once in a while.

Go for a walk or a run, eat those vegetables and nourish your spirit with the food Jesus has provided.

God bless you all, my brothers and sisters.
I am grateful for all of you♡

Journey Through the Bible: Introduction

A wonderful surprise happened a few weeks (2 months) ago: We welcomed in about 10 new church members and 7 new children in our Sunday School classes.
Now in my class (ages 8-14) I came across new Christians who have not heard any stories from the Bible. As I was a bit surprised I decided to bring VBS 2015 to the classroom with a little modification that I like to call "Journey Through the Bible".

These lessons go through all of the most popular and most used Bible stories known to a lot of children and adults. (I like to reference other stories so it will help those who don't know, not feel embarrassed). These lessons are in order of how they are written in the Bible starting with lesson 1: Creation.

Each lesson begins with an object lesson, followed by life questions, the story according to scripture, and finished with a craft and/or game.
In order for me and the kids to keep track of all the stories that we have gone over, I have a map/board with images that associate with each story as a memory. I might add a bible verse for a bigger impact.

So far, we have gone through two lessons (only starting now because of outreaches have been taking us to different places almost every Sunday ^.^):

Lesson 1: Creation
Lesson 2: Fall of Man (Adam and Eve)
(Coming soon) Lesson 3: Cain and Abel

I have written down a lot of lessons so far but I need further study :)

Please continue to follow the journey with the kids and myself. I ask that you also keep us in prayer as I try my best to keep you updated on how we do. I will try to have pictures posted too and you might be able to see it on our Facebook page or Instagram. Feel free to check it out! Thank You!!!

Faith Comm Church: https://www.facebook.com/1106FCC
Instagram: @faithcommunitygf
Website: Under Construction

For My Mom.

When I look at myself in the mirror and think of what my future will look like, I begin to see things even more clear than before. I think, a lot, about the type of mother I would be and how even that expectation will be different.

Mothers <3

My Beautiful Mother and Myself <3

They are the only ones who will truly love no matter what happens in life. Sometimes I find myself hoping that my kids will one day see in me what I see in my mom. Yes, the first few years of life were blissful with smiles and tickles and laughs. The following years after in the teens were some-what rough and lonely but I think that is where the most love will jump off of. After I let go of the teen years and my resentment, I realized just how much love and self-sacrifice goes into being a mother, a real mother.

My mom is an amazing individual. I can go on and on about how she is the best mother in the world and I guarantee that other people will say the same about their mother. Looking at my mom, as a bystander or in a different angle, I can see that she is so much more. While I find her to be the best mother in the universe, I am able to see her as a person and determine that I would not mind and do not mind being like her.

My mother is a stunning individual.
Mainly speaking of my birth, as I am sure you have read in previous posts, to be so brave and faithful in God to just turn down the suggestions of doctors, that makes her a better person in my eyes. The way that she speaks is always so full of love and care. Trust me, she doesn't speak to hear herself talk. She is all about the truth and all about the rights and wrongs.

Sometimes, children feel like parents don't understand and don't care but they could not be more wrong. There were countless times, where I would fight with my mom and apologize almost instantly because I thought it through and knew where I went wrong.

Now,

The other day, I really felt love from her. Don't get me wrong, I feel it all the time through the good and bad times but this one particular day meant a lot to me.

I have this great interest Tea, Tea Cups/Pots, and well, other things that I am sure I will get to on future posts.

And Even though it was suppose to be a surprise, she bought me a tea pot and six cups.

Seems simple to you, right? but I felt (and still feel) like she bought me the world.

You see, that is what mothers do. They secretly (because to most children, we think they know nothing about us) gather information and do their best to give us the desires of our hearts. They know things that most people won't know, even yourself. 

Isn't that what mothers strive for?

To be able to give their children the world?

This same things applies to God and his relationship with us (or our relationship with him, whichever you think is the best way to put it). He tells us in Matthew 7:7 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you....."
All you need to do is have Faith.

Thinking about it now, I believe that a good mother is filled with Faith.
My mom has always shown me what Faith is.
You can see it in her eyes when she talks and hear it in her voice, see it in the actions that she takes every day.

God gives us the choice- to ask or not. Simple but complicated at the same time. We ask and we are shown the way, going through a few troubles to get the the destination and given the gift of being able to say "My Father/Mother and I did it together" (because he is a Father to the fatherless and Mother to the motherless).

One way to tell you that my mom is someone I strive to be like is because She had slipped on ice during the winter and sprained her ankle. I could tell that satan was enjoying himself as she limped to work and church for months after the doctors told her that it would be fine in a few days. Constantly asking for prayer for her family and forgetting to ask for help herself. Seeing her now, walking with no troubles, hearing her tell everyone about it with a huge smile on her face and never once did she say "oh it was because I iced it every day or the doctors were right..." but hearing her say, I just needed Faith and to pray.She is a woman of God and has so much faith but I never forget that she is human and sometimes, we lose ourselves to this world; but even so, she asks for more than just to have faith...but she believes in it, in God, with all of her Spirit.

She has a beautiful smile and a contagious laugh.
She raised us with every ounce of love this universe has to offer.
She gave us a light to follow God and our gift to her, is to seek him and believe in him
My Parents are the greatest gift my Lord has given me and until the day I go home to Him, I will honor my Father and Mother. Thanking every day for their Faith, Love, and Joy:)

Never Feel That Way, M'kay?

There will always be someone prettier, better, and smarter, than you....but that shouldn't get you down...you might be that someone to someone else :)

Sitting in my Reading and Writing about Texts class, just 20 minutes ago, I felt like the most idiotic person in the room. Not only was I the only person to bring a hand-written paper, forget to submit the assignment online but brought it in hand but I completely missed the topic of the assignment.

To add to the fire of my embarrassment, the professor had us paired up and read each others paper, while creating a thesis for them. (NO ONE LIKES THESISISISISISSS!) I sat there for a good, 10 minutes while my partner had an entire paragraph written down on my paper and was happily chatting with the other people who finished in record time.

I felt humiliated and "dim-witted" and I was the only person who really saw this!
Luckily for me, I was able to write a few sentences of his main points of the story. By the time the professor came to us to see how we were coming along, my partner was telling me information on my paper and I was blank about his.

I am pretty good at just throwing things out there and I proceeded to say something about how related I found different pieces of the work that I actually had found a solution to his problem (getting symbolism to correspond with Character and Plot).

Walking away from that horrible scene (that I created in my head), I found that I may lack in being able to just do something quickly and on command but that I can create in-depth analysis when I speak about my thoughts and tying them together. For my partner and I, we both got something that the other lacked and that makes us pretty equal in my mind.

Don't get your self-worth down just because one thing comes hard to you and not to others. Being different has it's perks. Like an A+ on an assignment or a welcoming smile from a new friend who is just as different as you are.

If you can't watch it on Sundays, why watch it at all?

I was never one for fads, or popular items, songs, culture, etc. and more than ever, I tried to avoid it. Once it was off market or people stopped talking about said item, person, etc, I would pick it up and enjoy it in peace.

This applies to modern day "rituals"; Sunday football, naps, pick-nicks or whatever, especially when it came to watching television on Sunday afternoons.

My family, parents, didn't like it in the past and so my siblings and I wouldn't do it. It was no big deal, television wasn't such a big part of our day but lately (within the last 3-4 years) we began to do so. They were usually children's movies, christian movies, or sitcoms that we saw as children...a bit of a walk down memory lane.

Now, I am a fan of The Avengers, Monster Myths (how they came to be and how they became part of traditions), and a bit of Sci-Fi, just enough to get my toes wet in the pool of random facts but my sister and I recently began watching "The Walking Dead".

I know, not the best thing to admit to...ITS A FAD!!! O.O
But I wasn't thinking it was anything bad.
I was not really interested in the fact that it focuses on zombies but rather HOW they came to be.
At first, it was some type of illness that caused it. Then, it was born in us already and once people died they became that way. Now, something about another illness being airborne that causes death which causes "dead" life.

I didn't think much of it at first but today my sister was telling me how a new episode was coming out this Sunday and that we still had 10 episodes to go through before we could see the new one.

I stopped pulling books out of my backpack and thought of something so I told her:
"We are not watching it on Sunday. It wouldn't be right."
She responded the exact thing I was thinking:
"Why."

You see, I was not ok with watching that show on a Sunday but any other day was fine with me.
That seemed wrong to me the moment I said it and so I consulted my dad (Pastor Dad)
and he told me what I already knew but didn't want to admit:

If I don't find it ok on a Sunday, its not ok in general- so stop watching it.
and
If I don't think it is ok at first, chances are, it's not.

I liked the show enough to watch it and while my sister and I are spending time together, I know that this is not the way to do it.
So I am done with the show.
All I need to do now, is stop any sort of temptation (if there is any) and I should feel better about how I spend my time.

Perhaps, I can start doing homework ^.^

Be careful with what you see, hear, touch or where you go. Children really learn by example.

Bless You All!!!!

A New Leaf

Over the past few months, I have seen many things happen within the body of Christ. Many of which, I pray won;t happen again, such as: Separation, Jealousy, Assumptions to bad conclusions, and many more. It almost made me wish that I could step away from it all and never return. Yes, I know that I should stay positive (something that I always enforce in my family) but this time, I just felt pushed-aside.

I am one of those people who, for example, lets a child cry if they didn't get their way after I explained nicely why they will not be overly-spoiled. (Shocker: She got her way, thanks to Grandma and Tia! >.<) I can be flexible, if the opportunity calls for it, otherwise I am ruthless. So you can imagine my "pain" when I was powerless in a situation.

Recently, we have let go of some of our members in our church and while I was a bit sad to see them off, I knew it was for the best. Those obstacles that I spoke about in a previous post, are now gone but they leave behind holes. This old church is now being re-born and I am afraid of all the changes that are coming.


The members of our church, who will no longer be attending, have left us open to a whole new church with now: no pianist, power point operator, two less children in Sunday school,and  no administrator who ran the entire church solo.
I am not complaining. Yes, I really miss those kids. They were such joys to have in class and to watch grow. i hate to see children being caught in the cross fires of the adults misunderstandings and losing something so precious as a bond of friendship but God puts people in our lives and then, has us move on to see the better.

I have found myself praying for their well-being and for overall peace and happiness, especially since we have shared our lives for these past five years. God Bless Them.

My older sister who is our Bassist and the Sunday School Teacher of ages 6 and under, will be leaning for her Field work in September for two months and then again for another two months after she returns for a brief period. She is a very big asset to the church and to the family. I will miss her dearly as well as realizing just how much she does around here, seeing as I will be the one who is to take her place at least, for a trail-period.

My brother seems to be jumping back and forth, much like myself from this world to God and it scares me. To the core. We are so much alike that I fear he and I will end up the same, or worse, I  better than he. There is nothing that scares me more than to see myself better than my family, in any way....minus video games...>.< Please help me pray for him.

Negative+Negative= Positive
Negative+Positive= Positive
Positive+Positive= Positive
Negative * Negative= Positive
Negative * Positive= Positive
Positive * Positive= Positive
-_-_-_-_-_-Because with God, everything can be used for Good.-_-_-_-_-_-

On a happier note, there is a lot of changes coming around here with Vacation Bible School being a huge hit (30+ Kids came everyday!!!) and now, another combined service with the Nepali Church, Korean Church, English Church, and Spanish Church! In celebration of the baptisms that will take place next month.

Also a quick congrats on my little sister's baptism!!! WOO HOO!!!

There just seems to be more changes happening...
or rather...
I am just noticing how many things change before my eyes that usually go unnoticed but I can see how God is using this for good, for our lives.

I hope that you all will continue to read these posts and that you will follow me on my journey through life. I will try to be more consistent. Sometimes, I have too much to say (according to my family, I always do) but I have a hard time wording them.
I want you all to be a part of my life.
Thank you.

God is Good...All the Time... and All the Time...GOD IS GOOD!

He Never Gives Up

Have you ever climbed or walked up a mountain?
It's not very easy and it can be scary but in the end, once you reach the top, is breathtaking.

In Mexico, people make their own nativity sets with different types of plants all set around a Baby Jesus. These plants are located mostly on mountain sides and there was a year when I was able to help with finding those plants. I don't remember how old I was but I remember everyone getting into several vehicles and heading towards the mountains. We walked up a flat mountain and collected many plants, moved on to another mountain, much taller and pretty steep. While I was standing on the top, laughing because of my "fear" of heights, I could see an endless sea of blue skies, cloudless, with a sun giving us a sweet kiss of 100 degree weather. Breathtaking, like I said before.

Now the trip back down was a bit easier and a tiny bit scarier. Once we reached the bottom, there was a rush of giddiness in all us (the younger children) as we made our way back to my grandma's house.

The climb up the mountain really was hard, especially when I was hiding in fear- trying to overcome it. While I had family there to help me, I wanted to do something for myself and that resulted in me scraping my knee on one of the bigger rocks I was attempting to climb.

This applies to life in general.
We work hard and make it to high places but when there is a large stone in our way, we would rather scrape our knees than to ask for help.
No matter where we are, what we are doing, when we are doing them, God is there for us, molding the path ahead, in hopes that He will be given the chance to help us.

He never seems to let us go or give up on us.

For years I resented my family and God, trying to rely on other people who didn't deserve that type of trust. I thought that going down my own path would be much more fun and practical.
I was wrong.

I gave up on God about four times in my entire life and every time I would come limping and crying back to him, He never forgot about me; welcoming me back with open arms and a heart of love.

How many people can say that about a high school friend, church member, or co-worker? Not many, I can tell you that.

Those were the people I depend on in my youthful ignorance and I do regret it some days, especially when I sit and read my Bible. I think to myself: "Man, I could have known this stuff years ago, if I hadn't kept quitting on God."

I know that God forgives and forgets, (We should do that too) but I remember that I must also forgive, forget, but never let ignorance claim me.

 I suppose, I am jumping around the same idea but I find it comforting to know that I never have to feel sorry again about leaving Him behind; God never lets me down.

No matter what happens in my life, He will always love me and keep me. Something I look for in a future spouse, is that he is like or super similar to my God, my Savior, keeping in mind that he is not Jesus but all that in another time. :)

A heart that repents, will always be in the arms of a just, holy, and wonderful God.

Preparing for Rain Takes Pushing Boulders.

We as human beings tend to have a hard time with change, I am no exception to this. Sure I take some change better than others but the acceptance of that change is the same, no matter how long it takes.

My parents started Pastor-ing a church about 5 years ago and at first, we were thinking that we were going to change ourselves to accommodate the church we began to take over. And now that I think of it, we didn't really "take it over" but pushed ourselves around it over the past 5 years, never really taking ownership of the titles we had as the Pastor's kids.

Now, the starting of 2014, is our time for change. God has been talking to our whole family this past year (2013) and now, we are putting our plans into action, accordingly. The problem with that, is the fact that his church has been around for more than 30? years. So the people of the church are pretty stuck in their ways.

With that in mind, we don't want to hurt anyone and we don't want to push them out of the way but how can we do what God says when those of the flesh, or our flesh, go against us?

I saw this movie that my dad bought, Facing the Giants,  and it gave me some perspective on this subject, mainly told by a Faithful Follower of God: Mr. Bridges---here told by me:

"There were two farmers, both desperate for rain. Both of them prayed to God that they would receive rain but only one of them went out into the fields and prepared his field for it. So who do you think, trusted God that He was going to send rain?"

"....The one who prepared for it."

-----End of story-----

Here we were, praying for people and blessing but we never prepared for the rain. So we started to change things, Not allowing drinks or food in the sanctuary- which I have never felt comfortable doing- officiating people as church members to give them special and certain roles in the church, taking over the overseeing of the finances, redecorating the church and updating the roof, carpets, and overall building, opening ourselves to the community and helping those for the sake of helping in the name of Christ.

Sounds pretty good right? Simple things that take time? Well, not quite.
While we have many ideas and are doing well to plan only enough and not too much, and with time, there are some things we need to overcome.

These problems, which I can't quite remember all of them, are the boulders of the church, the ones we have to push in order to gain the blessings from God and do His will.

That is what is hurting the Churches from growing, they don't want to hurt feelings and offend anyone and while I believe that that should be prevented, it can't always be avoided. Some people look for a reason to get angry at pastors who want to change what has already been set in stone and this is when we need to pray and do what we need to do, in hopes that those people will see how the changes will cleanse and give revival in our lives, church, and community.

A majority of people would say that churches now a days, are too comfortable with themselves and the people thy know, rather than accept people they don't know or even make them feel welcome. They go against God's principles and example of showing love by sitting in that same chair/pew, claiming it.

I have been to churches that have never even said "hello" to my family and I felt out of place and even nervous, which is against my personality. I was saddened to see people talking amongst themselves and not giving us a second glance or even a smile! I was determined to makes sure that no one would feel that way when they walked into our building and I still try, even if I have to send someone else to speak to them.

So back to what I was saying previously, as Christians, there is no easy way to doing things and that includes running and creating a new foundation for a church. Following God will test every portion of your life and the results are so beautiful and rewarding, the troubles will seems like they were of the ancient past, the feelings will feel fresh, and the destination will be uplifting and so indescribable that you will never be able to keep it to yourself.

This past Sunday was great as a result of finally getting everyone on the right page.

It takes time, effort, and prayers to get things the way they need to be.
Just listen to God, even when it seems hard to do or if you become worried what people will think of you, just remember that God has His reasons and the rewards are amazing!!!

Praying for those Angry Eyebrows

                               

A lot of the times, we get mad. A simple statement but one that can hold a lot of sin or a long-term portion of sin (both are the same since sin is sin). And the hardest thing about following God, is forgiving and praying for those that anger us.

I know a person who likes (or just speaks) to make people angry. Now, maybe I am just looking at this the wrong way. They are intelligent and know how to offend someone without their knowledge and finally, I caught on to that. It started out as a simple sarcastic statement and escalated to racist comments with no signs of apologize. Now I have tried my best to explain why I became offended at such statements but according to them, it is known as "History" (Not the 'it's in the past' way but that it is in History books). Then one day, I snapped and vowed to never talk to this person again or really allow them into personal matters just because annoying them with scarce details seemed like something fun to do.

I was wrong.

I was consumed by anger when I saw this person or heard their name. I would talk about them in negative terms only and never wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt. I would look for any little thing they did, said, or wrote just so I could be angry at them more and more, until one day, God said "Hey, So-and-So is my child."

It was a spiritual smack on the head for me that day. So I stopped what I was doing, closed my eyes, and prayed not only for forgiveness but for that person and hope that they would open themselves more to God. I thought that they could use a bit of guidance just like me. and Immediately, I felt better. Yes, I still have a hard time praying for them but I don't get as angry and when I feel like it's going to happen again, I remember how I felt after I prayed and that I should let anyone take away my blessings but instead, I should give them away.

I bet you are wondering what the photo at the top of the post is about. For those who have not watched Veggie Tales, I recommend it! It is fun for all ages and the one I have put on here is called "Larry Boy and the Angry Eyebrows". I could go into a deep and confident review on the movie but I say "JUST WATCH IT!!!!"

The main lesson is not to let the sun go down on your anger, you know, forgive and forget; don't get mad, bro! A lesson that many people, especially an emotional-train-wreck like myself, have to really pray about.

Using as a reference, the wonderful book of "What does the Bible Say About..." wonderfully organized by Brian Ridolfi it states:

Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath - Ephesians 4:26

Sound familiar? ;)

Also:

Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools - Ecclesiastes 7:9

Now, I don't know about all of you but I am a fool for a lot of things (not the best thing to admit but hey, I am human and sometimes I see from the eyes of the flesh) but I don't want to be a fool for anger. A bitter tounge- stinks.

So take some advice from an Emotional Train Wreck (That would be me.)- When you are angry at someone to the point of yelling: stay quiet and relax, take a deep breath (or 20, like me) and just wait. Patience is a virtue, you know. If the occasion calls for it, walk away but the most important step of all, is pray about it and the person. Take a moment to pray for yourself, the person, and the situation, TRUST ME, it will be so much better.

A Small Prayer, if you need it:

Father,
I Thank you for (Name of person). I thank you for allowing them to be in my life, for you know their purpose and mine in each of our lives. I put the situation in your hands. You know better than anyone else and you know things that we both don't know. Father, I ask that you take this anger from me, I will not take ownership of it for I know that it does not come from you and does not belong with me or (name of person). Again, Thank you for what you have done for both of us and I ask that you continue to bless us. In your Mighty Name.
Amen.

P.S. (If you see/have seen the movie, the following quote will make sense and make you smile because It is my favorite quote from that movie) >>>>>

DANCE WITH ME, LAMPY!!!! <3

God Bless!!!

UPCOMING MOVIES!!!! You have to see :)

MARCH 21, 2014!!! The opening of the movie "GOD'S NOT DEAD" in theatres. Go to the site: www.godsnotdead.com and see if there is a showing near you!

For me, in Fargo, ND and hopefully, it will be available in Grand Forks, as well! :D

Along with this movie, there are about 4 other Christian movies being released this year (or have already been released)

I went to see "Song of God" a week ago with my family! It was a wonderful feeling to see young adults walking into the theatre for a Christian movie and even better to hear them excited to watch it.

I am really looking forward to "Heaven is For Real"! <3I haven't read the book yet but I will before the movie comes out :)   **Also, there are rumors going around about this movie and I will say that I pray this will not effect the movie in any way. This is a true story.

Procrastination *OOPS!!!

Wow.

I am not too sure what I can say to all of you...

I can see that I haven't been writing like I was meaning to, well, to be honest I was writing...it just wasn't on here >.<

So here we go. A message to all of you..........????

:)

I suppose now would be a good time to talk about Procrastination. (Yes, I am talking about myself but for all of you)

Now, the word Procrastination means the act or habit of procrastinating, or putting off or delaying, especially something requiring immediate attention (according to dictionary.com)

This word, this action, is used by people all over the world and many believe that it is something normal or even lazy and I do hate to break this to you...wait, no I am glad to break this to you all

Procrastination is a sin.

Simple and there it is, complex.

This word is stated as more of a slacker or laziness as stated in Proverbs 10:4-5 >>>

"He becomes poor that deals with a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent will make it rich. He that gathers in the summer is a wise son; but he that sleeps in the harvest is a son that causes shame."

How crazy is that?
Many people don't even think of anything when they are told that they are lazy or when they are being lazy. It's pretty sad huh?

Not only do I want to use this post to apologize to all of you but to also apologize to my God who gave me the gift and passion to write and I have been wasting it by being lazy or preoccupying myself with things that are not as important as spreading his love with these simple words.

SORRY!!!!

Proverbs 10:4-5, is not the only place in the Bible where there are words for the lazy people or rather, the "slothful man", "ssluggard", and so on; but there are several different places in proverbs where they come up to say that the lazy will not inherit riches. Also there are a few mentioning in Hebrews and Ecclesiastes.

So how do we break the demon of laziness/procrastiation?

Well, there are many ways to do this and it depends on why you prcrastinate in the first place. Making this a perfect time to say this is Step 1!

STEP 1: Determine why you procrastinate.

• Overwhelming Tasks
• Too Busy
• No Motivation

STEP 2: Pray that God will take away this demon and believe with all the Faith in your heart, that he will do so.

STEP 3: Follow and make-up some ways to fix this and practice them with all your heart

(For Overwhelming Tasks)

• Make a schedule and stick to it!
• Start immediately after you get a task/assignment, or jot down ideas for this task ASAP
• Don't be afraid to Ask for help from someone who may know about this or someone you simply trust.

(For Being Too Busy)

• Get away from distractions (turn off that phone, block internet if not needing it **THERE ARE BOOKS IN THIS WORLD THAT HAVE MORE INFORMATION!!!!** and be in a quiet place so you can concentrate)
• Do the easy things first! That way you have more time for the harder tasks
• REMEMBER: If you finish it, there will be more time to relax than worry about it, last minute.

(For No Motivation)

• Think how amazing it will feel once it is done! and how amazing it is going to be, to show those people what you are fully capable of!
• Move the date up to "trick" yourself that it is due sooner!
• Keep in mind, that if it doesn't get done soon, there will be unavoidable consequences.

3 Easy steps and you will be happier knowing that you are not sinning unintentionally anymore :)

Pray tonight and every day, to thank God for getting rid of that demon...I already know that he has done so for you and for me as well :)

Now let's just hope that my internet connection stays strong (Just got it back today after weeks of no internet)

God Bless you all!!! <3

Hallelujah Party Ads! (Join Us)

These are the final posters/flyers for our Annual Hallelujah Party!
I am completely excited to run this Party! :)

I am praying that more and more people will come and maybe even help out with the outreach!
I would also like to add that if my father does not answer or you would rather email, please contact me:) - jacey_clubsantos@hotmail.com

Anything and everything is appreciated! Contact me for more information!

Believe in What You Believe

Recently, in a certain class that I am taking, we have been discussing the Bible. It would come into conversation, occasionally.

Now, I am 100% for talking about the Bible in Education Facilities..actually, everywhere! But I am constantly reminding myself and others to remember the word of God and to not allow the flesh to fall into the lies of man.

Recently, this happened when talking about the seductress, Lilith.

What someone told me was Lilith was the first wife of Adam. She was jealous of Eve and gave her the fruit of Knowledge of Good and Evil (Book of Genesis). She was then turned into a serpent for her "crime".

Now, I may not be very familiar with the Bible (YET!) but I know that there is no "first wife of Adam" there is simply Eve, the ONLY wife of Adam.

It was Satan, that gave Eve the fruit, where the first sin was started.

I can accept that this may be that person's view of things but I wasn't going to sit there and let my fellow students buy into a lie. I proceeded to ask questions and the answers were more than vauge.

There was also the argument that Satan and Lucifer were two completely different people.

I have heard this before and I said "They are the same person. Lucifer changed his name to Satan." This resulted in more "Facts" about how I am incorrect about this and that.

I acknowledged their views and I stated mine. But I will not allow anyone to tell me different than the Bible's Truth.

I prayed that night. For more courage and more wisdom on God's Word. There were moments when I was scared that I would keep silent on the lies that were being spread. I was scared for a split second that I would not be informed enough to keep the discussion supplied.

I did.

I sighed in relief, that I was able to hold my ground and hopefully, give enough information to keep other people questioning and looking for God's Truth and His Truth only!

Prayer Requests:

• God will be allowed back in schools.
• More and More people will be Saved. Or at least curious about God

Keep Those Eyes on God.

**Following the post, are a few movies that are worth sharing** (I Do Not Own any of these videos and am not showing them to make money either)

For the past 3 years, I have been attending a college focusing more on General Course and can we say Discouraging! I had a hard time with classes because I became uninterested in the content that I was learning. My mind was filled with thoughts about how I didn't need the class, how that was going to apply to my career and so on.

After years of really good classes (I am willing to admit that I was wrong in thinking that I did not need them) I am closer to graduating from Liberal Arts! This winter I will be done with general courses and finally be able to work on the final step of getting my degree. The only problem was, was that I didn't know where I was going to go...in fact, I am still very unsure of where to go!

There are not many school with TESOL majors, much to my displeasure.

So what do I do?
I start to bang my head on the table or floor, which ever I find myself closer to. For the longest time, I soaked in the troubles of my disappointment and often found myself searching and searching with no answers.

Then one day....
I recieved a message from one of the people I went on a Missions Trip with sent me a message. Now she isn't just a normal person. She is my new sister and I love her dearly. She reminded me that I just need to wait and see that this is all in God's hands. He already has a plan for me and know where I will be the happiest.

I cried.

I was so caught up in what I wanted that i forgot that it wasn't my true decision. God gave me the passion for teaching, the people who encourage me and I forgot that HE is taking care of it.

Recently, My father asked me why I wanted to be a teacher of English and TESOL. At first, I was speechless and angry at myself for not having the answer right away. After about twenty minutes of thinking, it came to me; a huge rush of hope and flaming excitement came over me.
I told him:

"Daddy, How many people can say that they change lives for a living? How many people can say that they dedicate their lives to helping others who are less fortunate in getting to where they want to be? Who can say that dad?...Sure there are nurses and doctors, lawyers, and so on. But teachers...Wow, Daddy Teachers saved me."

You see, if it weren't for my teachers, I wouldn't be the cheerful person I am now. I had so many inner conflicts in my life and once I was able to open up to the people who give an education, I smiled for real. Teachers, to me, not only teach their specialized subjects but are role models for life and play a major part in people's life.

Think about this with me. Has there ever been a teacher that has ever influenced you (Good or Bad)? I am about 99% sure that every teacher has done at least one thing (or said) to make you think even if it has shown up unconsciously.  {I still question my art teacher from HS}

Changing a life for that life, is my number two goal in life (the first being to share God's word with an open heart).

I no longer worry about where I am going to go. I know where I am going now and I thank God for keeping that option in my mind. For giving me a family that questions my decisions for me to question them myself. My mother did the same just a few moments ago. Where am I going to go, mom? The only true answer I have for that:

God will show me.

-Prayer Requests: 

• That I will be able to wait for God's Answer
• My family; that they may see the sacrifices I am willing to make to teach in other countries.
• That I will be able to better retain the languages I will be learning.
• That I will not be afraid.

Verse for Thought:

• Jeremiah 29: 11
• For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope

-----------------------------------------------------------------

These movie, besides making me cry, make me think: "Exactly why I am doing this!" 

(Freedom Writers)

(The First Grader)

(Like Stars on Earth)

Back and Fourth Posting! (Small Announcement)

I have two different blogs. This one, which focuses more on what God has to offer, has given me, and more! While it is a bit more...personal as well.

My other blog (Located at: Slice of Life Flavored Cheesecake Blog )
is about other things in life, some of my preferences and opinions of other matters (i.e literature, art, family, school, etc.)

Check them out! Nice way to see into my mind ;P

Return Message

Hello everyone!

I deeply apologize for the long wait and I know that there really is no excuse for procrastination or laziness. But every time I tried to sit down and type something out, my mind would go blank, my head would spin, and the seat of my pants would fall asleep. Maybe my mind was thinking this was homework? (Hope that doesn't happen in the upcoming semester).

A lot has happened this summer and there will be many things going on so I will use this post as a "HI JACEY, WHAT IS UP?!"

1.) Our town decided that they would invest in building a dike, thus buying out our houses (ours and three others). We have spent the remainder of the summer preparing a basement to set the house on.

2.) The braces will be coming off soon! In September maybe and I will finally be able to eat raw fruit properly, crispy chicken, almonds, caramel apples, and more! :D

3.) This will be the last semester at Northland! Graduation is in December and then going to a Christian University for TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages).

4.) Losing some weight and loving the feeling! More energy and more time to clean -.-

5.) Going to try and learn the Piano for Church, going to have to see how that goes for the Semester.

6.) Praying for a good Job and that I can retain information better during the semester so that I can actually have a job this time.

7.) Our puppet team is growing and is so lively. Hopefully, we will be able to go out to the community and share God's word: Our Team name. S.O.S Puppeteers- Sharing Our Savior.

8.) Two weeks after returning from Uruguay, I shared God's word in Church for the first time! Preacher in training maybe? :)

I know that there are a lot more things that I would love to share but again, my mind seems to be going blank. I will be trying my hardest to post weekly and not daily. there are too many things that are going on and that will be going on.

Thanks to everyone who supports my writing and spreads the word!

Let me know if you need any prayer!

Mission Uruguay

If you were given the option to go with a group of people, to a different country, to do missionary work. Would you?

Tomorrow morning, I (along with my family) will be boarding a plane (I, for the first time), to go to the beautiful country of Uruguay. 

To be more specific we will be doing Mission work in Montevideo, Uruguay- while staying in Piriapolis, Uruguay.

Located in the following map:

We will be arriving there with other churches from the MN, ND, and SD areas.

There, we will be visiting people and teaching them the Word of God, Children's Ministry, Prayer-walking, Kitchen work, Worship, Construction (of a Church, I believe), promotional groups in schools, and more.

There is no way to describe the excitement I am feeling with this upcoming trip.

I mainly want to work with the children that are so excited to see us come and share God with them. Another thing that I am very excited for, is the Festival we are dancing in.

The Festival is taking place in Piriapolis. Even after looking for more information, I have yet to find an answer to: what exactly is this festival? I will hopefully find out after we arrive there. This, to me, seems like it will be a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Perhaps, God will allow me the honor of visiting other countries, with the years to come. Maybe next time, it will be in Europe or Asia. Who knows really?

Please help me pray for this country and all those there. Pray for salvation and also, Please pray for my family and I, along with the other Missionaries, that we may receive twice the amount of Spiritual gifts than we are giving. That we may be safe. And that we are able to travel the world, in the Name of God.

*This post, seems a bit "empty" to me but I will be sharing more and more as the time comes.*

*I am not quite sure if I am going to be bringing my laptop during my trip or if I will have the time to post while I am there.*

~~**GOD BLESS YOU ALL**~~~

Verse For Thought:

Mark 16:15

- And he said to them, "Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."

Those Hard Times

When I think about my past I realize that there were so many times when I would feel down and I would bottle up those emotions, which, I learned the hard way, to be the worst thing to do.

What would always change my mood? (Well, besides praying)

MUSIC!

Most of the time, while I tried hiding my feelings from my family, for fear of burdening them, they were the ones to see through this mask I produced and presented me with songs for every occasion.

I truly felt like it was something that I should share with all of you, maybe for the times when you see yourself walking down the same road I was once walking, or even a situation where these songs will be of great use. There are even those days when I listen to those songs again, remembering those painful times and smiling at how small that problem was.

Such a small problem that my family jumped into to pull me right back out and remind me that God Is Always There...Just like they are.

My TOP 5 Helpful and Problem-Solving Songs
*NOTE: I do not own any copyrights for the following songs*

1.) Beautiful by Mercy Me
      Ever since I was about 12 years old, I thought I didn't matter, that I wasn't a beautiful person and that I would never find anyone who would love me. I had such a low self-esteem, I would cry myself to sleep every night. No matter what anyone told me, I wasn't good enough to receive any type of praise. No, my life was not all bad and I did get the praise I deserved but my heart and mind weren't in the right place. I stopped hating myself after the age of 16 or so but there was still that doubt that was hidden in the back of my mind.
     After my longest relationship ended, I had the hardest time recovering. I had felt like my life was finally becoming what I wanted: having someone to truly love me. After what I felt was an unjust end, This song healed my heart. To make this song even more special, it was my younger sister who played it for me.
    I finally let go of that little girl who yelled hateful things to me and told me that I was not good enough. Goodbye Ex-Jacey. I am Beautiful...no matter what you ever said.

2.) East to West by Casting Crowns
     Along with the previous problem, I had a hard time believing that God could really love someone who could do one of (what I believe) the worst sins possible: Disowning God.
    There was a night when I yelled to my mother, that I did not want anything to do with God. I even took my Bible, tossed it onto the dining room table and said "Here, I don't want this. God has done nothing in my life. I don't need him ever again."
    The days following that incident I felt worse and worse about myself. I finally took back my Bible and cried. Praying that God would forgive me for committing the worst of all sins.
    Once this song came out and played on the radio, I cried and thanked God for dying for me and my sins. I took back the spot I had with God and in fact started walking higher above it.

3.) Hello, My Name Is... by Matthew West
      The lyrics of this song really make me smile. I AM A CHILD OF A KING! :) I will say that this is just as simple as that. I have had my regrets, disappointments, and sadness in my life but this is one FACT that I will never need to see end. This is something that makes me happy to live each and every day.
       Simple. As. That.

4.) Ya No Llores Por Mi (Don't Cry For Me Anymore) by Tercer Cielo
      This song is in Spanish (Duh, Jacey!) One of my uncles in Mexico made a small slideshow of my Grandfather after he died and I cried for weeks on end, listening to this song, trying to convince myself to stop crying. I guess all the crying finally tired me out and even though I still cry for him, I know that he is watching me and that I don't need to cry anymore. That I can be happy that he is lucky enough to be with God now. :)  *I recommend looking up lyrics and translating them with google or something, really beautiful song*

5.) We are the Free by Matt Redman
     Something I have always disliked is that people think "religious people" or "church people" are boring and so is their music. That is why, I love blasting this in the car any chance I get! Along with my church's worship music, my car music is upbeat and crazy! The lyrics to this song (even if it WAS slow) would pump anyone up and set their soul aflame! That is why I love Sunday worship..its not the typical cathedral style hymns (Not saying that there is anything wrong with those hymns, they are just not my style).

Verses for Thought:
Psalm 95:1- Oh Come, let us sing to the Lord; let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!

Psalm 150:1-6 - Praise the Lord! Praise God in His sanctuary; praise Him in His mighty heavens! Praise him for his mighty deed; praise Him according to His excellent greatness! Praise him with trumpet sound; Praise Him with flute and harp! Praise Him with tambourine and dance; Praise Him with strings and pipe! Praise Him with sounding cymbals; Praise Him with loud clashing Cymbals

Prayer Requests:
>Safe traveling for the upcoming Mission Trip to Uruguay (Upcoming Post)
>Keep praying for healing in my soul and that I am able to give myself completely to God.
>Safe Keeping to friends and family who are in need of prayer.

Showers of Blessing (A Birthday Tribute)

Blessings are all around, especially in this celebration of today- as of 20 years ago, today, my beautiful mother had given birth to a child.

While this is a very wonderful blessing all in itself, it was also a grand miracle.

Why?

When my mother was younger, my father and herself were given an MMR shot (measles, Mumps, and Rubella vaccine). They were told not to become pregnant within a certain amount of time.

Some time later, my mother ended up falling down, causing her go to the hospital, the nurse asked her if she was at all pregnant. my mother responded with "I don't think so." When she was checked, they told her that she was, in fact, pregnant.

As time went on, the doctor who was to deliver the baby told my parents that she would need to abort the child. The doctor proceeded to tell her that the child would be Blind, deaf, deformed, possibly born without a limb, have several heart problems, and brain damage, all of which was a "high chance".

Praying to God, my mother and father refused an abortion, saying that Satan would not win this battle.

On May 30, 1993 at 8:20 pm- a beautiful little girl was born. All her limbs in tack, no eye sight problems, no heart or brain damage. Just a perfect little girl.

20 years later, here I am. An ambitious, humble, and healthy woman. I have never had heart problems, or brain damage. I have all that I need both physically, materialistically, and spiritually.
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When I woke up this morning, I looked out the window and saw that it was raining. Most people would complain about the rain on their birthday but I cried with happiness. These were my first thoughts:

There shall be Showers of Blessing.
Thank You Lord, for giving me another wonderful year of life.
You know how much I love the rain, Thank You, God.
No matter who does or does not recognize that today, 20 years ago, a miracle happened, I am more than grateful for being alive and almost perfect, as You want me.

I cry at the thought of how Satan tried so hard to kill me. How hard he tried to plant the seed of death in my mother's heart. but I also cry at how strong she was in the Lord. Sometimes, I think that maybe it wasn't Satan's work but God's. Maybe he is going to use me as a testimony- the woman who beat all odds and lived, showing that God is preparing the world for his return.

I will pray for the truth. Perhaps, both answers are correct...While Satan tried to stop a blessing, God was going to use Satan's attempt as a miraculous blessing and testimony. It is now my turn. God is preparing my mind and heart and now, I WANT to spread his Love and the Knowledge that he has so graciously provided me with.
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Last week, my family and I traveled with a man and his family to Colorado, to visit his past church. During one of the sermons, I had the urge to write something down. This is what I wrote:

"Satan tried to kill me from the start, he was defeated. Now, he is trying to break me down and pull me away from God by using those around me. He will fall. The Lord needs me and I want/need him more than my flesh can handle.
One day, my flesh will break away and the Lord will finally say "You've done what I needed, your purpose has been fulfilled. It is time to come home, my daughter."
I am not afraid of Satan, or his demons, or death. For the Lord has made me invincible until I have accomplished His will and my purpose.
~My purpose- To Share the Word of God With Those Around the World~

I now understand why God gave me the love to communicate with others on deeper levels. Why he gave me the love of other cultures and an open mind to accept what is very different from me, while others frown upon different or even fear it. Why He gave me the love of travel and understanding....GOD WANTS ME TO GO AROUND THE WORLD AND TEACH HIS WORD. HE WANTS ME TO SPEND THE TIME I PREPARE FOR THAT TRAVEL, SPREADING THE WORD TO THE "WORLD" THAT LIVES HERE IN AMERICA.

I have finally found my purpose. I finally see why Satan tried so hard to stop me before I was even born. He thought that he had the world in his hands. But I am going to take every piece of it in the Name of the Lord.

Happy Birthday to me, Am I ready to fulfill my purpose?

Verse of Thought:
Jeremiah 29:11
- For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Prayer Request:
>Help me pray for the cleansing of my soul and that I may break the temptations and the blockage of the flesh.
>That I not let those who speak wickedly of me, affect me or tear me away from God. That I may have a strength to plant the seed.

~~**God Bless You All**~~